Truth.

Here’s truth, in trust that love & beauty follow where it goes. My personal practice isn’t what I think a yoga teacher’s should be. Here’s some more truth: I’m a yoga teacher with a crappy home practice.

Here’s what I think it should be: every day, vigorous, peaceful, priority, full of poses I’m working on or toward, including meditation, resulting in wisdom, awareness.

Here’s what I want: I want my life to feel like yoga. That’s what I really want. I know all the saws about how it’s all yoga & how some days you have five minutes & others you have more. How breathing is yoga and anytime you are aware and witness to your self you are doing yoga. I’ve read Happy Yoga, by Steve Ross. Loved it.

So why am I holding myself to some ideal standard that’s actually keeping me off my mat??? Why, why why?

Because I’m at a cross roads. Because a major life change is lurking in my shadows and my shadows are on my mat.

I’m a yoga teacher, I’m a paramedic. I’ve loved being a paramedic, I fought for it, I sweat for it and I’ve revelled in it.

For months I’ve had this deep feeling of division between weekend night medic & yoga teacher. I thought I’d look for a union, a balance. Now I’m cheering for one side to win.

Maybe not very yogic. But it’s truth.

I’m off to do Hillary’s latest yoga class podcast… check the blogroll. She’s a no nonsense teacher with a good sense of class flow.

Livin’ on the path, feeling moment by moment, reaching for raw and tender with open arms. Peace and chaos…. out.

1 comment
  1. zazazu said:

    I also loved Happy Yoga. It is one of my favorites… hands down.

    I think that many of us have an inner struggle of some sort. Maybe all of us, I don’t know. I wouldn’t say that it is “not very yogic”. I think that being “yogic” can be – or not be – SO many things.

    I loved this post. It was so honest and real. Thank you.

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